Short Story

One of my good friends at work wrote this story as a nomination for this 'employee of the month' thing we have. It is much better when it is read by the author, J. Clark Gardener, but—you'll get the idea.

Courtesy of Mr. J Clark Gardner:

“No pictures today,” Kari Schuerch says to the screaming fans that line the red carpet from her black BMW limousine to her private entrance to Melaleuca’s marketing room. She hands her latte cup to one of her six square-jawed, chisel-chested bodyguards and flicks back a stray lock of her perfectly-styled nut-brown hair. “All right,” she says, removing her sunglasses. “Maybe one or two.” Teenage girls scream and young moms scramble for their cameras.

Schuerch’s piercing blue-green eyes dart to the sudden sound of disgruntled shouts from the back of the crowd. “Outta my way! Outta my way!” yells a rotund, disheveled man with a bad comb-over as he shoves his way to the front of the crowd.

“Hey!” barks Brutus, Schuerch’s head bodyguard. “Get out of here, Driskell! Press aren’t allowed while Kari’s working!”

“Settle down, tiny,” Driskell spits, smacking his gum irreverently as he adjusts a skinny, threadbare tie. “I’m just passin’ through. Besides, I ain’t press, I’m an old friend, ain’t I Kari babe?”

The crowd, now silent, rests their collective eyes on Schuerch. “I don’t know, Clyde,” she says uneasily. “Maybe you should—”

“Is it true, Ms. Schuerch,” Driskell says, flipping out a tattered notepad, “that in the past few months, you have almost single-handedly produced an entire new line of EcoSense packaging?”
“What?” Kari stammers, stepping back. “I’m not allowed to—”
“Not only that, but you have also completely designed the Melaleuca Holiday Catalog, including storyboarding and directing the photoshoot, all the while balancing other important projects like the tri-monthly email blast? Executing these projects with poise, class, and precision, and being billed as a delight to work with by all your coworkers?”
The crowd begins to murmur excitedly. Kari clears her throat nervously.
Brutus steps between her and Driskell. “I think that’s enough,” he growls.
“And is it also true,” Driskell says, backing up and glancing around nervously, “that you have successfully performed these considerable tasks while pregnant with your first child?”
“I knew it! I knew it!” shrieks a young mom, diving at Kari as the entire crowd explodes with delightful screams, mobbing the famous designer with congratulatory kisses and hugs.

Kinda funny, fun, silly, & etc.